The Dagley Dagley Daily

By Janet Dagley Dagley
Covering the world from the waterfront in Hoboken, New Jersey, USA

ISSN 1544-9114

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Have yourself a Louisiana little Christmas

By Janet Dagley Dagley, card-carrying member, ACLU

Second grade class, Lafayette, Louisiana. The TEACHER raises her hand and cues the CHILDREN to sing:

CHILDREN:
Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
Tis the season to be jolly,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
Don we now our gay apparel--

TEACHER: All right, class! That's enough. You've all got detention after school every day this week for using that word. Disgraceful! Now it's time for Billy's solo...

BILLY: Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the yuletide gay --

TEACHER: Didn't I tell you not to use that word? Now I'm going to have to call your mother and tell her you said it, except I can't say that word over the phone! Now go wash your mouth out with soap! And for the rest of you, that's the end of music class! Now it's time for history. Who can tell me the name of the airplane that dropped the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima, Japan?

Many of the CHILDREN raise their hands. TEACHER calls on a girl with long blonde curly hair who is not only raising her hand but nearly jumping out of her seat.

TEACHER: Heather?

HEATHER: It was the Enola Gay.

TEACHER: DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO USE THAT WORD???!!! I'm calling your parents! All your parents!

HEATHER raises her hand again.

HEATHER: And I'm calling the American Civil Liberties Union.

TEACHER: Did you just say "CIVIL" and "UNION" in the same SENTENCE??!!!

posted by Janet Dagley Dagley @6:04 PM

4.12.03