The Dagley Dagley Daily

By Janet Dagley Dagley
Covering the world from the waterfront in Hoboken, New Jersey, USA

ISSN 1544-9114

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'I worked hard to ensure that I was accepted as part of the traditional family of America'

New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey stunned the state and the nation this afternoon when he announced that (a) he's gay and (b) he's resigning.

In a related matter, earlier today the California Supreme Court declared more than 4,000 same-sex marriages solemnized earlier this year in San Francisco null and void. The court did not address the issue of whether California's prohibition against such unions, only whether a local official could decide unilaterally whether a state law is valid or should be upheld. The issue of whether California's prohibition against same-sex unions is constitutional is the subject of other legal actions now making their way toward the state Supreme Court.

Meanwhile, I have some questions for the people who think they're defending marriage by insisting that only opposite-sex couples have the right to make such commitments. Do you folks believe the prohibition against same-sex unions protected either of Governor McGreevey's legal marriages? Do you believe you're protecting ANYBODY's marriage? If so, WHOSE???

The prohibition against same-sex marriage and the bigotry against homosexuality forces every gay or lesbian into an impossible choice: lie, or disappear. Because all the conservative Christians, all the gay-bashing teenagers, all the homophobes in the world cannot make homosexuals disappear. They can, as they do now, deny them more than 1,600 rights on the Federal level that are reserved for heterosexuals -- or those who pretend to be heterosexual. Societal pressure can, and does, force people who are not heterosexuals to make commitments and establish households and bring children into the world all on the basis of a lie. Again, whose marriage does that defend?

Jim McGreevey wanted to be accepted by society, so he conformed, lying to himself and everyone else, because lying is what society required of him. Another New-Jersey-born politician, Bayonne native Rep. Barney Frank of Massachusetts, chose a different course: he was honest about being gay. And so he is denied the rights that society grants to those who lie.(He could get married in Massachusetts, of course, but he and his spouse would still be denied those 1,600 Federal rights.) If you believe that your marriage, or anybody else's marriage, is protected by those lies, or by society's rewards for those lies, then please explain.

"I worked hard to ensure that I was accepted as part of the traditional family of America," McGreevey explained at his news conference today. "From my early days in school, until the present day, I acknowledged some feelings, a certain sense that separated me from others. But because of my resolve, and also thinking that I was doing the right thing, I forced what I thought was an acceptable reality onto myself, a reality which is layered and layered with all the, quote, good things, and all the, quote, right things of typical adolescent and adult behavior."

Today, it may seem to Mr. McGreevey and most everyone else that his political career is over. But it could be just beginning. Mr. McGreevey, thank you for being honest. Now please keep on being honest. If you need any help with that, you might want to call Rep. Frank.

posted by Janet Dagley Dagley @5:15 PM

12.8.04